A Mulching Saga

Friday morning, we headed into town to acquire some black gold.  For the Beverly Hillbillies, that’s oil.  For a weed-laden maiden such as myself, it’s mulch.

Someone could write a mulch encyclopedia with all the options out there.  I prefer shredded hardwood bark.  It isn’t the only acceptable option, but it’s my favorite.  It’s widely available, environmentally friendly, reasonably priced, beautiful and it smells good (to me). 

I would not recommend wood chips or shredded pallets or any form of chopped up ‘wood’.  There is a big difference between wood and bark.  In nature, bark acts as armor for the tree’s wooden center.  It is God’s design for the protection of the tree.  Bark, with its rough texture and unappealing substances, deters the horde of bugs that want to get at the woody deliciousness inside.   How do you think those critters feel when you chop up the woody deliciousness and spread it all over your yard?  Mmmmmmm.  The same way I feel at Dairy Queen.  To add insult to injury, the chips biodegrade too rapidly, pulling nitrogen from your soil and money from your wallet.  The only thing worse than wood chips in your yard is painted wood chips.  The chips will biodegrade.  The paint will not. 

This year’s previous weeding efforts unraveled themselves when I failed to cover the freshly-liberated soil with mulch.  Without this organic forcefield, I was no more than a hamster on a wheel; running myself to exhaustion and getting nowhere in particular.  I plucked and pulled, and one week later, the garden looked as if I'd abandoned it years ago.  The weeds thanked me kindly for exposing more delicious dirt and returned to their dominion-making efforts. 

But now I was armed and ready for battle.  As the man of the house lowered the tailgate to begin the Mulch Homecoming Festivities, he asked me where the wheelbarrow was.  Immediately, I knew.  Immediately, unfortunately, was a half hour too late.  15 miles north of our home, sitting upside down on a pile of peat moss, lay the loaned-out necessity.  Distributing a yard-and-a-half of mulch without a wheelbarrow is not practical.  It’s like trying to slurp a giant milkshake through a coffee stirrer.  The effort is going to result in a nasty headache.  Blast my swiss-cheese memory.  And thank goodness for well-stocked neighbors. 

Now, armed with my truckload of mulch and a neighborly wheelbarrow, I set to weeding once more.  Thirty-six hours later, the redemption of my garden was complete.  (For legal accuracy, ‘complete’ does not include the vegetable garden.) 

Presently, I’m sitting out on my porch, penning this entry and sniffing the sweet smells of success.  In this case, success smells like mulch and freshly brewed coffee.   I believe I enjoy basking in the glow of my weedless garden as much as I would enjoy basking on a beach in Brazil.  There’s something divine about creating your own paradise.  

A Lovely Stroll

In our landscape design studio at the U of I, all aspiring horticulturists worked on the same property.  Fourteen drafting tables littered the room, each with a different landscape for the same property.  I loved walking around the room, comparing and contrasting ideas and marveling at the myriad options we cumulatively created.

As I toured the gardens of the 2011 Kankakee Kultivator's Garden walk, I was struck by the same concept.  Had you given me any of those yards, I probably would have come up with something completely different (and assuredly, more weedy) than the homeowners.

What a treat to see the fruits of their creativity and effort.  Each garden had lessons for me.  Let me share a few:

Dave and Becky Williams proved to me that I need to quit whining about my small yard.  For a dedicated gardener, size is no hindrance whatsoever; merely a different kind of challenge.  The passion they share for gardening shines clearly in their innovative vegetable garden.  In contrast, my vegetable garden is not so much a labor of love as a labor of necessity.  And it shows.  If I can pull a red tomato from a field of lamb's quarters, I declare success.  The Williams' garden, however, was nothing short of a retreat.  And believe me, when I look at my own, I'd dearly love to retreat to theirs.

Kathy Bessette's vast woodland landscape filled the shadows with color, texture and creativity.  Over the years, I've encountered many homeowners who are thoroughly flustered with similarly shady backyards.  The combination of tree roots and lack of sunshine provide enough deterrent to keep them from creating beauty.  Kathy was not easily offset.  Her powerful imagination envisioned the world of hosta and perennials residing beneath the shade and a good amount of determination brought it to life.  Where some may have seen limitations, she found possibilities.

As someone who is losing the battle to weeds (yes, I know it's only June) in her current vegetable garden, I have a great appreciation for the immaculate beds of David and Cheryl Bishert.  I love that they simply used grass clippings (naturally nitrogen-rich and notably free!) to mulch and keep interlopers at bay.  Large tomato cages were ready to handle our bulky Illinois growth, unlike the cheap tomato cages I employ, which are overgrown by the end of July.    

A small stroll from the Bishert's brought me to Rick Hoekstra's vineyard.  Lush grapevines abounded.  Here I discovered the easiest of all the take-home-messages: Mmmmmmmm.....Moscato!  I found a wine to enjoy when the work is done.

At this point, let me say that this particular day I had been mislead by the weather forecast (not uncommon for me this year).  I donned blue jeans in the morning, expecting a cooler day.  The resulting 89 degrees of heat and humidity did not agree with my denim.  Babysitting fees were racking up and so was my internal thermometer, and I thought very heavily about heading home after the vineyard.  I'm so glad I didn't.

Formal Fronts & Botanical Behinds

Let's talk about botanical gardens.  They are a sight to behold.  Beautiful and peaceful, with thousands of different species carefully cultivated over acres and acres and acres of spotless lawn.  There's a reason people flock to Morton Arboretum every year.  It is divine.

One must keep in mind, however, that there's a huge staff of horticulturists working full-time on that place.  They are constantly mowing, pruning, replanting and spraying for bugs and diseases.  That's why they sell tickets...to have enough money to keep the place immaculate.

Now, unless you are selling tickets to your front yard, I'm guessing you can't afford a staff of horticulturists.  I'm guessing that YOU are the head horticulturist and that you probably have another job which pulls you away from all that pruning, mowing and spraying delight.

So please, keep it simple.

I meet many people who are passionate about gardening and love to try out new and different plants.  They buy one here and one there and sock them in the ground and treasure them.  I know, because I am one of them.

And that's why we have backyards.  AKA: our personal botanical garden.  You can welcome people into your private sanctuary when it's looking good, and pull the blinds when it's not.  No one need be the wiser.  They'll see your immaculate front yard and believe you to be the Genius Gardener that you are.

I'm a living testament to this rule.  My front yard is very tame.  The backyard is where I let it all hang out.  The good, the experimental and the weedy, all neatly(?) tucked behind my fence.

Why keep it in the back?  A couple of reasons spring to mind:

1.  You may want to borrow a cup of sugar from the neighbors at some point in time.  Wouldn't you like to have them look upon you favorably at that moment?  Consider the orderly front yard as good PR with the neighbors.  But, some may say, "My neighbor's are so annoying....I really don't care what they think.  They play their music too loud and their dog is always running loose."  Now aside from reminding you to love your neighbor as yourself, I'll point you to Reason #2.

2.  Curb appeal for future resale.  (Maybe it's time to relocate to some nicer neighbors!)  Plan now for a tasteful, inviting and tame front yard.    Keep your front landscape simple and pleasing, so it doesn't detract from your home or overwhelm potential buyers.

3.  The wilder the yard, the harder to weed.  And once those weeds get ahold, you'll be wearying quickly.  Hence, a truly weedy front yard is predictably in your late-summer forecast.  And when you come home from a long day at work, the last thing you want to see is another project that needs doing.  So reward yourself: with a tidy front!